For the Love of my Children

Birthday candles

Lights out,
Candles lit,
Avid anticipation of sugar and carbs to come.

The moment freezes in my own internal lens
Deep in my gut I feel an old familiar sensation
My scar smiles across my abdomen.
Mocking me
Reminding me that I have limits

They cut her from my womb
Three years ago
Wet with blood and fluid
She didn’t cry
From behind a blue curtain
A magic trick

I was in love with her
Three years ago
She blows out her candles
Three years today
Pasnsies, and pink icing
A pulling in my gut
Pain reminding me
Of scars as she smiles.
She opens her presents
Giddy laughter and children
who have become a flock, moving as one.

I watch my gifts as they float,
Feathers of love drifting down.