I am the next She-Hulk

I’ve heard people say pain is a great teacher.  I suppose my question was always: “What exactly was I supposed to learn from incapacitating pain?” It is sometimes so bad that I have to hide in a darkened room.  Every once in a while the thought of a drill to the skull sounds like a reasonable plan if it would just relieve the pressure. 

The thing is, that pain is there for a reason.  My selfness is rooted in my body. My body is rooted in my environment. My environment is rooted in culture with food, McDonalds, perfumes and all the chemicals that float through our lives.

I went to an allergist once. He told me I was chemically sensitive.  He also said there was nothing he could do because what I had wasn’t an allergy. These things bother everyone, he informed my younger self. It’s just that some people’s bodies are less capable of dealing with all those toxins.

I cried in his office.

He did not help me.  Doctors often can’t.   The system they are immersed within is not there to help people.  I’m sure there are a lot of people in the medical world who want to help people, but the system clouds their ability to do so.  They are force-fed rules and regulation that may or may not be useful.  Like S.H.I.E.L.D. the fault lies in the organization, not every individual.

However, there’s a message hidden within what he told me.  He gave me that information so that he could dismiss me.  But I took that message in a bottle out and examined it.  I wiped my eyes and began my own studies.

“These things bother everyone.”

He was right.  Later I had a child with food sensitivities. (Another thing that allergists dismiss) Much later my husband started eating a low inflammation diet. I tried the Whole 30 with him and damn if it didn’t work.  I had friends who started doing the same things and it worked for them too.   Our bodies are only as good as the food we eat, the air we breathe, and the water we drink.  We live in poisoned times. My question now is, “Why are we surprised?”

The number of people with food allergies rose by 50%  between 1997 and 2011 according to the CDC.   That’s a lot.

Allergies are defined as an immune response to a protein.  If there’s no protein there can’t be an allergy.  Proteins by their very nature are biological. An immune response to one is pretty much the body saying, “Hey! That’s not me!! That’s some biological thing that is not me-ish! Get rid of that crap!”  That’s what the old white man in his imposing office was trying to explain to me. That’s the thing that made me feel crazy enough to cry in a doctor’s office in front of an old white man. 

But it’s not even half the story, and now researchers are actually studying the very thing I was feeling all cray-cray about.    It’s called TILT or Toxicant Induced Loss ofTolerance.  Basically it means that people can feel horribly allergic to things that aren’t proteins. 

According to research done by Dr. Claudia Miller this kind of intolerance comes from an initial exposure to some sort of chemical.  After that, the body no longer can properly deal with even small amounts of many chemicals. Their bodies change fundamentally and permanently including the nervous system, immune system, endocrine system and more.

This is what super powers actually look like.  We’ve been exposed to Gamma radiation.  We’ve been dumped in the waste of our own society.  Super powers look like joint pain, migraines, stomach illnesses of every sort, rashes, sore throats, and doctors who tell you there is absolutely nothing.  Nothing they can do.  Nothing there. Nothing but the failure to thrive. 

I am She-Hulk. I just don’t get the advantage of being impervious to harm or turning green.  Also, how come her shirt stays on when the Hulk’s shirt always falls off?  Anyway, back to the topic, dear reader.

We are the result of exposure to the environment that our species has created.   I know so many of us.  We are all struggling to succeed when our own bodies betray us.  It has been my life’s work to succeed anyway. 

So I have carefully crafted my life so that I can exist.  I eat a low inflammation diet, influenced by the work of Gary Taubes, Mark Sisson, and Melissa Hartwig.   I hold my breath when I have to go down the laundry detergent isle in the grocery store. I exclaim how wonderful that cake looks and then don’t eat it because it’s bought from the store and I have no doubt it has soy oil in the frosting.  I take a lot of Benadryl.

If you suffer from sensitivities there are still not a lot of answers.  The best that you can do is avoid  your triggers.  There appears to be a connection between sensitivity reactions and addictive behaviors that is evolving a new theory of illness where chemical sensitivity and addiction are seen as two ends of a spectrum of a certain kind of human reaction to their environment.

Claudia Miller created a self test for sensitivities that can help you or those you know to identify if they are chemically sensitive.  This is useful, since it appears that once you pass the threshold you are likely to continue to become more sensitive unless you make an effort to try to avoid your chemical triggers.  Often people who are trying to deal with allergies feel as if they are going through a “detox” stage.  When you’re allergic to a thing often times you also crave it, even when it makes you ill and you know it. This anecdotal evidence is backed up by research that indicates the connection is real and the difficulties seen with addiction are just as embedded within chemical intolerance issues.

I didn’t get a choice about “going green”.  I had to switch to home made cleaners to survive.  I eat simple home cooked food so I don’t get ill.   I avoid bars, crowds, smokers, and people with big hair so I don’t end up gassed into a migraine. My friends and loved ones understand and do their best to be respectful. I really appreciate it.

Bruce Banner has to avoid things that make him angry so he won’t go green. I have to avoid things that make me ill and it has turned me green in the end. Somehow it doesn't make it better that I get to be like Bruce Banner and Jennifer Walters.  What does make it better is that the changes I've had to make have helped me to walk in balance with the earth.  It also makes it better when I can help people to avoid the trap of despair I felt in that doctors office so long ago. If you do suffer from chemical sensitivities, know that you can do things to help yourself and that you're not alone. Good luck. 

(This was going to be an essay on lessons to be learned from prolonged illness. It’s become a series.  Dear reader, if you found this useful, please consider donating or buying my art to offset the research time and cost of purchasing academic papers. Thank you.)